This is the first in our series of blogs that focus on reclaiming your future. Simple steps to o plot world domination, personal mastery and complete fulfilment, just in case they're useful...

Spot of hijacking anyone?

Hands up - who thinks they get out of bed in the morning intent on self-sabotage? Didn’t think so. Yet how many of us start the day on autopilot - open eyes, fumble for alarm, check phone, read news, check emails?

Before we know it, we’re reacting to the external world - uplifted by good news or else hostage to whatever rubbish happens to be in our inbox - before we’ve even put the kettle on.

While it's not always easy to give yourself time to breathe deeply for a few moments or set a positive intention for the day, if we don’t stay attentive to our thoughts – our whole day, week, life can unfold as a series of emotional reactions to whatever is going on out there. Which begs the question, who’s in charge here? And, I’m not being political.

Blaming is not the game

Whether you feel great at the moment or thoroughly miserable is actually not the point. Sorry that doesn’t sound very sympathetic. Obviously, it’s perfectly reasonable and human to be affected by what’s happening in our lives. But to be provocative and topical, blaming our current reality does not serve us either.

We all know people who seem to glide through any challenge they meet, while others feel poleaxed by the same. Beyond the effect of current restrictions and worries, any time we’ve ever felt powerless or overwhelmed, while we can’t change the facts, there’s still an element of  choice to be had.

In case you’ve never heard of Viktor Frankl, he was an inspirational Austrian psychologist and philosopher. He was also a survivor of Auschwitz and Dachau concentration camps. Separated from his loved ones, living through the uncertainty and daily hell of that experience, he realised the power of his own thoughts and sense of purpose. At the end of the Second World War, in Man’s Search for Meaning, he wrote,

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Your thoughts are just thoughts

The truth that sustained him in such profoundly dark confinement, remains his liberating legacy to us. That is - whatever the challenge we face, no one can take away our ability to control how we think about it.

Yet, how often do our thoughts support or else hijack our daily lives? Think about these questions. What were you thinking when you took back control of something? What thoughts underpin situations where you feel helpless? Are they categorically true? How about situations where you’ve witnessed injustice or what seems unfair criticism? Are you likely to lash out, speak up or sit on your frustrations? Why? Typically at work, if you're asked to meet impossible deadlines or take the flak for someone else’s errors, what do you usually think - and then feel, say or do?

Take pre-emptive action

Reflecting on the thoughts that underpin our reactions to stressful situations almost always provides us with better options – retrospectively! Why not preempt such regrets by finding space to identify what presses your buttons? That includes the usual suspects that continue to test us. If we can’t avoid them entirely - in my case this means not listening to doom mongers or alarmist news bulletins - can we at least try to buy more time for ourselves before we respond? This is precious time that allows us to bin or reframe unhelpful thoughts and focus on things we may have some control over.

Our responsibility to our wellbeing is surely to resist being dragged down into a pit of despair through self-defeating thoughts - ultimately in our power to reject. As for work related choices, before immediately responding to what seems like an unreasonable request, you could choose to buy yourself some time before you kick off or roll over. Taking time out to see things from their point of view, as well as to nail any self-sabotaging thoughts of your own, inevitably supports more healthy solutions.

To dig deeper, of course you could explore your psychological profile or how your earlier life created your unique belief system - as it can be fascinating to delve into what triggers your thought patterns and why. But for those who don’t have that kind of time or energy, it’s enough to stay present, mindful even, of how your usual storylines play out in terms of what you say or do.

So to summarise, do yourself a favour, understand your patterns, stop sabotaging yourself, and most importantly - listen to Viktor!